It's Finally Over!! Freedom Never Seemed so Obvious.

For those of you who have been following the drama, the negotiations are finally over. Late yesterday afternoon I received word that the goal has finally been reached, MySpace set me free and deleted my vacant page:

From: "MySpace.Com"
To: "Jack Bunja"
Date: Thu, Jul 22, 2010 at 3:58 PM
Subject: My email has changed [Incident: 100721-004809]

Hi Jack,
We appreciate you bringing the profile to our attention. After further review, the account (myspace.com/74273330) has been scheduled for deletion.
NOTE: If there is another page that you were referring to, please provide us with the URL/link.
If you have any additional questions, please do not hesitate to write back.

Sincerely,
The MySpace Support team

From: "Jack Bunja"
To: "MySpace.com"
Date: Fri, July 23, 2101 at 12:24PM

Dear MySpace Collective,
Thank you so much for your last reply that you will now delete my account. Rarely do you see such a personal and heartfelt message from a hive-mind. Kudos in being able to retain emotions despite being of one mind and purpose.

I can now forgive you for ignoring my request to delete my account when I asked you the first time back in 2009 and even changed the name on the account to "Please Delete This Account", but still had no success. Perhaps, at the time, your complete assimilation into a true collective had not taken hold or perhaps now I am not deemed worthy of assimilation. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy that I can retain my individuality, but if I was deemed unworthy, I reserve the right to feel a little rejected. Was it my computing brain power? Or was it my poor use of commas just didn't fit into your mastery of the modern sentence structure? Never mind, it doesn't really matter now.

My freedom tastes so sweet and I can even cancel that order of "cause ribbons" I placed. I had chosen the color "Sunwashed Nantucket Red". It's a perfect late summer color that would have taken me seamlessly into fall. Well, this is goodbye MySpace. I'll never forget you and if one day you evolve into Skynet, I hope you will remember me fondly.

-Jack "Free Like a Bird" Bunja

I would like to thank the MySpace Support team for really joining forces and rallying around my problem. If you are confused about what transpired, you can check out my older posts. To make a long story short, I was locked out of my old dormant MySpace account and had no way to delete it. Sure, it sounds like a small problem, but the solution was insane. MySpace wanted me to take a "Salute" picture in order to get action?!? What happened to "What's your Mother's Maiden Name?" MySpace's security practices are one DNA sample short of being creepy. If anyone out there has actually sent MySpace a "Salute", please share and tell me what you think they actually did with the photo. Please keep it clean, this is a PG rated blog.

Thanks to everyone for the support and thanks to the "MySpace-Support-Team-Hive-Minded-Collective" for quickly solving my problem with such heartfelt and personal emails.

Continuing Coverage of the MySpace Hostage Crisis!!!

So, the drama continues....I could rant about this more, but I'll just share my email exchange instead:

From: MySpace.Com
To: jack.bunja@gmail.com
Date: Thu, Jul 22, 2010 at 12:12 PM
Subject: My email has changed [Incident: 100721-004809]

Your message
1. I do not have a picture on my account.
2. Even if I did, I would not take part in such a idiotic security practice.
3. You can read all of my true feelings here:
http://bunjajumping.blogspot.com/2010/07/salute-this-or-why-facebook-is-better.html

Just delete the account please. I understand you wish you were still
relevant, but it's 2010. You had a good run, just let it go.
-Jack Bunja aka "Delete This Account"

Thanks for contacting MySpace.

A salute is the way we verify that you are who you say you are. We use it to protect your privacy and security. Simply put, we compare a current picture of you holding your MySpace friend ID with a photo from your profile. If they match, we're cool.

We only ask MySpace friends to make a salute when it involves an important matter of security, safety, or privacy.

Here are the top reasons you might be asked to make a salute:

1. You want to delete your profile and can't do it yourself (visit http://faq.myspace.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/285)

2. You forgot your email address (visit http://faq.myspace.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/5)

3. You forgot your password and can't retrieve it (visit http://faq.myspace.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/311)

Sincerely,
The MySpace Support team

From: Jack Bunja
To: "MySpace.Com"
Date: Thu, Jul 22, 2010 at 1:40 PM
subject: Re: My email has changed [Incident: 100721-004809]

Dear MySpace Team,
I appreciate that the entire team has stopped their busy day to reply to my email. While I would think multiple hands on one tiny keyboard would be clumsy and not time effective, perhaps this is more like a tag-team type affair. If that's the case, perhaps you have mastered modern sentence structure and have people that are designated to type the subjects, verbs, adjectives, etc... Unless of course your team has developed a hive-mind mentality and one person typed it, only there is not "one person", only "MySpace".

I do however see a problem with your hive mind response. You (or "all of you", I'm not sure what to call a hive) did not respond to the fact that I do not have a picture on my vacant MySpace profile to compare it to and I look nothing like a faceless silhouette. This is fortunate as I would not have a way to hold up my glasses. Please advise me on how to shut down my worthless site that has not been accessed in over a year. Thanks to all of you for not assimilating me.

-Jack "Delete this Profile" Bunja
http://bunjajumping.blogspot.com

Salute THIS!!! or Why Facebook is better than MySpace

I think it is fair to say that it is easier to change a postal mailing address than it is to change anything on MySpace. A postal mailing address to which you might get checks, money from grandma, shipped items of value, etc... Before I continue to rant, let me explain my hostage crisis. I, like so many other people prior to common sense, had a MySpace account. It was created with an email address that was linked to my home Verizon account. I moved and lost the email account before I could delete my MySpace account (you need to click a confirmation email to delete your account on MySpace). I emailed their helpdesk and nothing happened. I changed my profile to be blank with only, "Delete This Account" as my display name and still nothing happened. So, for a while, I just let it go. I let it go for so long, that I can't even remember my password to get into the account. Now, I'm just annoyed that this vacant account exists so I tried a different method. Instead of saying I want to delete the account, I framed it as I was just "locked out", which is now actually true. I was proud of myself, maybe now, I could get some assistance. This is the response from them:

Thanks for contacting MySpace.

In order to assist you further, we will need a salute from you. We only ask for a salute when it involves an important matter of privacy and security.

To make a salute, here's what you do:
1. Write MySpace and your MySpace friend ID or your MySpace vanity profile ID, for example http://profile.myspace.com/...viewprofile&friendid=0000000 or http://MySpace.com/VanityProfile) on a piece of paper
2. Take a photo holding the paper in front of you (right side up, please). Make sure there's a clear view of your lovely face.
3. Respond to this email, leaving the subject intact, and attach your salute.
4. Once we verify your salute, we’ll complete your request.

Important stuff to know:
- if you don't have a camera, consider using a cell phone camera, or using your own or a friend's Web cam to take a photo
- the salute picture must be in full color (no Sepia, black and white, etc.)
- no one else can be in your salute picture with you (unless this is for a band or artist profile)
- you must be able to see you holding the salute in the photo you submit (in other words, we want to see your hands holding the Salute with a clear view of your face; no Photoshop)
- you MUST have a photo in your MySpace profile that clearly shows your face
- the salute must be hand-written (we cannot accept typed salutes)
- salutes cannot be submitted by posting them to your MySpace profile and sending us a link
- MySpace will never ask you to submit a video or webcam salute, so if you get an email message or MySpace message asking you to do so, please let us know at once!

Sincerely,
The MySpace Support team

Seriously?!?!? WTF!!! A salute? Do people actually do this? It makes no sense at all. I understand security, but my account is vacant, and they won't delete it, so I have to go threw all of these hoops? This is like taking one of those cheesy "time-share vacations". Also, handwritten notes only? I assume this is so you can't photoshop in different addresses, but anyone with photoshop can insert handwriting just as easily as printed text. I can only assume there is a losers bulletin board at MySpace headquarters with all of these pictures on it. Perhaps they photoshop their own words into the paper I'm holding, with ridiculous statements like "Palin for President 2012". Either way it's not national security here, it's MySpace.

Look, it's 2010 and MySpace isn't fooling anyone. We realize they suck. It's a vehicle for musicans, wierdos, and emo-preteens. I have no intention of taking a picture, besides it won't work for me, I removed all my pictures a long time ago. What I will do is ask everyone that reads this to please report my account for violating some term of service on MySpace. Just say I was making wild claims and disparraging your mother, I don't care, just please, please, delete my account.