Your opinion doesn't make you stupid, your Bumper Sticker does.

I consider myself a fairly even tempered person. I would rather go with the flow than rail against it. However, there are two seemingly harmless things that make me want to rage into a blind fury.

• Whistling in the work place
• Bumper Stickers

If you feel the need to whistle while walking down the hallway in a full office, then I feel the need to tackle you into the copier. Seriously, who thinks that their talent at whistling qualifies them as entertainment for the rest of us? When is the last time you downloaded a really awesome compliation of whistlers on your ipod? Never, that's when.

When it comes to bumper stickers, I fail to see the logic. What opinion is so valuable and permanent that you feel the need to express it in the form of a "car tattoo"? For instance, "My child is a Middle School Honor Student". That may be, but their parent is an idiot. You are defacing your car for something that changes on a yearly basis. So your kid can read and do basic math, congratulations. Also, I don't care what airports you have been at or that you vacationed in the Outter Banks (OBX). If your marathon time is that fantastic, why are you driving anywhere? That stick figure drawing of your family doesn't change the fact that your husband is nailing his secretary and I'm not exactly sure what Jesus would do, but I'm guessing he'd start by telling you to get your slow moving ass into the right lane.  This brings me to political bumper stickers; why would anyone deface a high valued commidity like a car with a topic that, by rights, should take more than four words to explain properly? For instance "I refuse to believe the Liberal Media", ok, be more specific. The typical definition of "media" is "the means of communication that reach large numbers of people, such as television, newspapers, and radio". So, with that in mind, what do you mean? Is all "Media" liberal? You define it as "the Liberal Media", is the word "liberal" an adjective that modifies "media" or is "Liberal Media" the entire noun that would be defined as "liberal leaning media outlets"? As the catepillar once told Alice, "Say what you mean and mean what you say". If you are willing to lower the value of something that you make payments on with paper and adhesive, I do not trust your four-word-views on the financial health of our country. If you want to flip off other people's eyes with your semi-literate ramblings, do what I do, get a blog.

I'll be Your Huckleberry...

I was a ball hog in almost every sport I've ever played. Ok, so this was before I was a bit over-weight and still had all my hair, regardless, you may ask, was this "ball-hoggery" an over-estimation of my ability? Maybe. Was it a Hero Complex? Perhaps. Was it an over-dose of testosterone? Definitely. Testosterone is a funny thing; it can be spurred on by actions, music, or in some cases just words. It's amazing how simple one-liners can fuel our testosterone output. For instance, I defy you to show me any person who doesn't get a little psyched up when Val Kilmer echoes that famous line, "I'll be your huckleberry..." in Tombstone. If you barely remember much else about that movie, I guarantee you remember that line. "March Madness" is also full of testosterone enducing moments. What testosterone junkie doesn't want the ball in the last 10 seconds of a tied game?


What brought made me think of this subject? A lot of things really; emotions have been surrounding me a lot lately and the emotions that a jolt of testosterone causes is something I can easily relate to. I have had to really face my emotions recently, because last week I had to bury my grandfather. I was lucky enough to speak (in between tears) at his funeral and help carry his casket at the cemetery. Those moments will always be special to me, but one moment will stand out to me. My grandfather served in WWII and he requested a military burial. I don't know how many of you have witnessed a military funeral, but it goes kind of like this; the casket is draped in a flag and after the final words are spoken, a 21-gun-salute is fired and then a soldier plays Taps, which is possibly the most moving song that can be played at a funeral. Two soldiers then fold the flag, place 3 shell casings from the 21-gun-salute in the flag and hand the flag to a relative, in many cases the widow. When they hand the flag to the widow, they thank her for her husband’s service and then salute her. This is what happened last week and when the soldiers saluted my grandmother, I felt sadness of course, but also I felt pride and a twinge of testosterone.

It might not sound appropriate to feel testosterone at a funeral, but it's not caused by the normal reasons. It's caused by the thought of doing something for a purpose or a cause that is greater than you. It's caused by sacrifice. It's caused by being in the presence of a hero. My grandfather fought muderous Nazi's in probably one of the most justified wars to ever exist on our planet. Even though he had been out of the military for over 60 years, he was still part of something that existed for the greater good. All the people that served in WWII are nothing short of heroes. When they salute a fallen hero, it's something to behold and it should give us a glimpse at the pride that needs to exist in making that kind of mark on history. I think that more of us need to have pride in something like that.

Up to this point, if you are reading this and the next thought that pops into your head starts with "god" then you are missing the point. What I'm talking about here isn't about religion; religion starts wars that men die for. Religion is why people in this country protest military funerals and is the fuel for many political agendas. This is about the brotherhood of man, whether you praise Jesus or a flying spaghetti monster we are all made of the same stuff. Maybe, just for once, we need to have a little less thought and a little more testosterone...