It's Finally Over!! Freedom Never Seemed so Obvious.

For those of you who have been following the drama, the negotiations are finally over. Late yesterday afternoon I received word that the goal has finally been reached, MySpace set me free and deleted my vacant page:

From: "MySpace.Com"
To: "Jack Bunja"
Date: Thu, Jul 22, 2010 at 3:58 PM
Subject: My email has changed [Incident: 100721-004809]

Hi Jack,
We appreciate you bringing the profile to our attention. After further review, the account (myspace.com/74273330) has been scheduled for deletion.
NOTE: If there is another page that you were referring to, please provide us with the URL/link.
If you have any additional questions, please do not hesitate to write back.

Sincerely,
The MySpace Support team

From: "Jack Bunja"
To: "MySpace.com"
Date: Fri, July 23, 2101 at 12:24PM

Dear MySpace Collective,
Thank you so much for your last reply that you will now delete my account. Rarely do you see such a personal and heartfelt message from a hive-mind. Kudos in being able to retain emotions despite being of one mind and purpose.

I can now forgive you for ignoring my request to delete my account when I asked you the first time back in 2009 and even changed the name on the account to "Please Delete This Account", but still had no success. Perhaps, at the time, your complete assimilation into a true collective had not taken hold or perhaps now I am not deemed worthy of assimilation. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy that I can retain my individuality, but if I was deemed unworthy, I reserve the right to feel a little rejected. Was it my computing brain power? Or was it my poor use of commas just didn't fit into your mastery of the modern sentence structure? Never mind, it doesn't really matter now.

My freedom tastes so sweet and I can even cancel that order of "cause ribbons" I placed. I had chosen the color "Sunwashed Nantucket Red". It's a perfect late summer color that would have taken me seamlessly into fall. Well, this is goodbye MySpace. I'll never forget you and if one day you evolve into Skynet, I hope you will remember me fondly.

-Jack "Free Like a Bird" Bunja

I would like to thank the MySpace Support team for really joining forces and rallying around my problem. If you are confused about what transpired, you can check out my older posts. To make a long story short, I was locked out of my old dormant MySpace account and had no way to delete it. Sure, it sounds like a small problem, but the solution was insane. MySpace wanted me to take a "Salute" picture in order to get action?!? What happened to "What's your Mother's Maiden Name?" MySpace's security practices are one DNA sample short of being creepy. If anyone out there has actually sent MySpace a "Salute", please share and tell me what you think they actually did with the photo. Please keep it clean, this is a PG rated blog.

Thanks to everyone for the support and thanks to the "MySpace-Support-Team-Hive-Minded-Collective" for quickly solving my problem with such heartfelt and personal emails.