Summer 2010

I can honestly say I've had better summers.

I'm sure I've had worse summers if you look at it cumulatively over all the years. The odd part is that on the whole, I’ve had a good year. I’ve got a new job, a great girlfriend that I love very much, and a wonderful new house. Hell, we’ve even done some pretty fun things so far this summer. The only thing that is making this summer hard is that I have to say goodbye to someone that I really don’t want to say goodbye to. My Grandfather (Pap) has taken a turn for the worse and it’s really looking like these are the last few months he’ll be with us.

Wow, it was even hard just writing that last sentence out. I’m one of the lucky people, really. I’ve had my Pap in my life, my entire life up to this point. He helped teach me how to fish, hunt, ride a bike, him and my Grandma took us to Disney World, Sea World, Hershey Park, camping at Lake Raystown… the list is really endless. He has been a constant for me my whole life. Pap has always been there. I guess as far as all the memories he has created for me, he will always be there. The only regret I have is that my children won’t get a chance to meet him. Sure I have pictures and stories, but it’s not even a shadow of who he really was. If I could tell them one thing about him, I would just say he was like a tree (Yes, a tree…bare with me here). My Pap was strong, supportive, gentle, caring, and above all, calm. I would normally just call him a rock, but rocks are cold and that was the opposite of what my Pap was. That’s why I idolized him as much as I did. As a teenager, I was a quiet powder keg. I was always fighting to keep from being too emotional and bouncing from one end of the spectrum to the other. I guess I probably still am in a lot of ways, but he was always solid in what he was and I admired that.

In the end, I know he is ready to go. The active, vibrant man he was is all but gone. His mind is still intact, but his body has failed him. He would rather be fishing the shores of a quiet lake than lying in that hospital bed fighting to breathe. That’s what I wish for him in the afterlife-- a tranquil lake to fish on with his family. Actually, I visited him this weekend and when it was time for me to go home he told me I’ll see you soon or in the life after this. I then asked him if we would go fishing and he said, “I guarantee it.” I’m not sure if I deserve at this point to end up in the same “after life” as my Pap, but I know one thing for sure, my favorite fishing partner will be there waiting for me. I love you Pap, now and forever.